Toast Life and Babies

That's what I was thinking last night. I stopped at our lovely Food Lion for my grocery shopping. Noisy shoppers were probably confused because I had a wedding ring on, but everything in my cart screamed SINGLE. I had a bottle of wine, fried chicken, pie, and some fruit. I lost all credibility when I checked out. As 20 something scanned my purchases he asked me for my ID. Well, I had a long, dumb day as usual and I wasn't really paying attention to what he said. (I thought he asked if I had my value card with me.) So I said, "No." Well he said something and then his manager came over and politely, but condescendingly explained that they are required to card me. DUH! I pulled out my ID and with my annoying tone said, "I know that. Here is my ID." Then there was this ackward silence after that as he finished scanning my crap (I am sure they all thought I was totally crazy!) The 5 customers behind me were looking at me funny too, only I didn't know why. Suddenly, I realized the whole misunderstanding and I found myself laughing loudly. I quickly explained and they all smiled and laughed, but I am sure they all thought I was an idiot. The whole way home I was so excited to crack open that bottle of wine and have a drink, or two, or three. Then I started thinking...isn't that what alcoholics do?
Shit!
So I didn't even open that fucking bottle of wine. Can you be an alcoholic if you don't drink often, but have the thoughts I have shared? I don't drink too often (I average a drink or two every couple of weeks, unless I am on vacation in which case I will probably have a drink each night at dinner), but I don't know,this is getting interesting.
In other news...
I found out from my coworker that I am prego! Southern Belle (a dear friend at work) pulled me aside today and jokingly (but a little serious) said, "I thought we were friends." I smiled, wondering where she was going with her comment. Then she told me she was talking to someone else about a busy monkey in my room. They were both feeling sorry for me (because I chase her around all fucking day). That is when Innocent Gossiper (I really do like the person Belle was talking to and I think she thought my "pregnancy" was public knowledge.) said, "And she's pregnant too, she must be so tired." OMG, Southern Belle thought. Why does Innocent Gossiper know that and I don't? She told me she figured it had to be untrue because she knows my view on being prego right now--PUKE. I promised her it was untrue and told her to quickly spread the new rumor. In return, she promised me that I don't look prego--that, of course, was my next worry.
Maybe I'll do some crunches before bed tonight.